just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
