i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You pole danced in your parka.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
