Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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