I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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