you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
