I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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