Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I need to sanitize my soul.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
