All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
