Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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