I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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