Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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