I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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