If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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