It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
