Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
