I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
