It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
