Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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