the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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