those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
