if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
