Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
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Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
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You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...