Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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