I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not