Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
