It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
