Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize