The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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