I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We are two peas in an std pod
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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