porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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