He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
