i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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