I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
