When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
His nipple licking is glorious
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