and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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