Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
