we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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