Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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