I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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