she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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