It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
