Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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