whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
