butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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