I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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