look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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