So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
