You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
