You smell like stripper and shame
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
