New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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