You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize