but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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