he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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