i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
