If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
