you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
