p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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