Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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