Moan for me like Helen Keller
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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