idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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