belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
