I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
