No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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