I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
