i don't plan on having that self control this summer
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
