so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
