the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
