i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
