So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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