you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
