Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
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I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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